Because I Care

Sighing softly, he glanced down at the fountain, sitting by it's edge. He'd finally made up his mind about Harmonie, and practically begged her to meet him down here. Dipping his fingers into the water, he stared down into it, the ripples reflecting in his eyes. It'd been months, and it was only now that the choice that he thought was the best had finally came to him.

Groaning softly, he glanced down at his watch, pulling himself back up to pace. She had to show up soon. Because if she didn't - well it wasn't like he was going to change his mind, but he just wanted to tell her now. Crossing his arms, he continued to pace, lost in his own thoughts.

When she was eleven and had just enrolled into Beauxbatons, were Harmonie to be caught in a situation like this, she'd be chewing her nails, wringing her clammy hands, trying to think of excuses and reasons as to why she should still be one of Julian's Angels.

Why she should still be one of his friends. She swallowed thickly and raked a hand through her hair as she made her way towards the fountain. Of course, Harmonie had grew in confidence considerably since first year, but that didn't stop the nerves. It just covered them up really well.

She had figured that Julian would get over it after a few days of sulking, but a few weeks had passed. And then- not that she'd ever admit it to anyone- she actually started missing talking to him. After all, he'd been one of the only people she could even consider as a close friend since first year. Since the first day, even.

Harmonie turned the corner that lead her to the fountain and stopped as she caught sight of him pacing. Breathing in deeply, and trying to ignore the fact that it was a shaky one, she leaned against the wall and flashed a small smile at him.

"Hey."

He needed something to eat. Not out of hunger, but just - to calm himself down. Stretching his arms out in front of him, Julian nervously ran a hand through his hair as he continued walking. It was growing out again, he noted dully, blowing a strand upwards.

Rubbing his forehead, he paused, turning around at the sound of a familiar voice. Breaking out into a relieved smile, he stepped towards her. "Hey back." laughing nervously, he silently cursed himself, absent-mindedly digging his fingernails into his wrists, only stopping when he registered the pain. "So..." he trailed off, sitting down by the fountain's edge, patting the space beside him, "I called you here for a reason -" facepalming, he laughed again, "That sounds so formal. Lemme try again."

Swinging his feet, Julian glanced at her for a moment before beginning softly, "You want to know if I forgave you or not." rubbing his eyes, he whispered, "I'm sorry you know, for taking so long."

Harmonie returned his weak smile and rubbed her arm unconsciously. She didn't know what he was so nervous about, it wasn't as if this would effect him as much as it would her. If Harm became a Fallen Angel- Merlin, what would she do? It was part of who she was, now. Julian had girls around the school that would be lining up to take her place. Hurt by her own thoughts, she sat next to him silently on the edge of the fountain, bringing her knees up to her chest and hugging them tightly to herself and rested her chin on her knees, watching him carefully.

He looked stressed.

Not that it was any of her business, anymore. A sad smile played at her lips at his nervous chatter. A sour part of her wanted to snap at him- "Would you just get on with it? I'm not going to try and kill you this time."

As if she could actually bring herself to say that to him.

"Yeah." Harm nodded. No tears allowed. Fallen Angel or not, her dignity would stay the same. "So. Erm." she shifted, unsure of what to say to him.

Staring at Harmonie, he sighed softly, rubbing his arms as he glanced over the water. Why in the world was this - this conversation (well, it really wasn't much of one, as neither of them were saying anything) messing him up inside? Maybe it was just how sad Harmonie looked.

Sneaking her another glance, his throat closed. God, she looked like she was going to cry. And it was all going to be his fault because of his damn indecisiveness. Closing his eyes momentarily, he flicked them open again, meeting her brown eyes.

"I'm not angry, you know. Not - not anymore. I was angry for like a few days, and then - well, you know me," he shrugged apathetically, a hint of a smile on his face, "I'm terrible at making up my mind." Shifting closer to her, Julian nodded, fiddling with his prefect badge.

"But I've made up my mind now. You're not - Harmonie, you've been an Angel, and a friend of mine for five years and I can't - I can't throw that away." Taking one of her hands, he squeezed it softly, smiling up at her.

Frowning deeply in the silence, and wishing with every fibre in her body that this...this, whatever the hell it was, could just be over already. She skimmed her finger tips absently across the surface of the water, deciding only to focus on the ripples and his voice. Harmonie wasn't certain if she could look at him and not...not do anything stupid.

Like slap him.

Or cry.

The latter was more probable. Harmonie clawed her hair away from her face and blew out a deep breath. She wasn't a coward, she would look him in the eye when he-

"What?" Harm choked out. The girl blinked, then recollected herself and cleared her throat. "You're not-" she rubbed her temples tiredly. "So you're not even-" she trailed off again. Despite herself, her dark eyes stung with tears and she felt one warm tear roll down her cheek.

"Hey." she said with a weak laugh. "Can I hug you now or what?"

"Hey," Julian yelped softly, staring at her as she tears began forming in her eyes. Reaching a hand towards her face, he brushed away a tear softly, "No crying," he whispered softly, beginning to feel tears prickling in his eyes, "or else you're going to make me cry and we'll both be blubbery messes." Laughing softly, he smiled at her in an attempt to make her feel better.

"Even better," he rasped, wrapping her in his arms. Kissing her cheek softly, he rubbed his hands in circles on her back.

Harmonie helped Julian to wipe away her own tears hastily, but it wasn't stopping them from steadily streaming down her cheeks. Mostly from relief, but somehow just releasing one tear, it just let eveything out.

Her loneliness, her uncertainty, her insecurity. It seemed as if her damm was crumbling. "I'm not crying." she mumbled with an echo of a laugh. She wasn't usually so emotional, but Merlin, she was a teenage girl. Mood swings were inevitable. At least, that's what she put it down to.

"De Venins are never blubbery messes." Harm said softly, wrapping her arms round his waist and resting her head against his chest. She loved him, really. Even if she did try to sort of kill him. Deciding it would be better to leave that unsaid, Harmonie asked dryly;

"Can we just not do that again, please?" though her sarcastic tone was nowhere near what it usually was.

Continuing to help Harmonie wipe away her tears, Julian bit his lip as he felt tears welling up in his eyes as he watched her. This was all his fault. Being an Angel - that had to mean a hell of a lot to her if she was crying this hard because he hadn't kicked her out. Shuddering softly as he imagined just how much she would've cried if he had kicked her out, he immediately decided that he'd never put anyone he cared about through that much emotional distress. Ever.

"So your eyes are just sweating?" Julian asked jokingly, letting out a little laugh as he kept his blue eyes on her, allowing himself a little smile even as he felt a part of his heart break. This was why he practically forced himself not to care about people; sooner or later, accidentally or on purpose, you'd end up broken inside because of them. And limiting it to Angels and family was how he planned on achieving that.

Holding her in his arms, he smiled softly down at her. He - he - wasn't even sure if he was capable of loving other people, but if he could, she and the rest of his Angels - well that wouldn't even be a question. But he did care about them unconditionally, and God, he'd do anything for them. Fighting back a sob somewhere down in his throat, he held Harmonie closer to his chest, nodding slightly.

"I - I don't think I'd be able to survive doing that again." he muttered, his voice shaking slightly.

"Oh, Merlin, Rousseau, please don't go teary on me too." Harmonie mumbled, nudging him softly in the side with her elbow with a feeble, quiet laugh.

"Yeah." she said with a tired smile."Eyes sweating. Brain overworking far too much." she said softly, tucking a lock of hair behind her ear and watched the water in the fountain. Brilliant, now Julian had seen her cry. Before it had only ever been Lodie. What if she was just going to start crying- actually crying- in front of everyone now?

Shaking her head warily at the thought to herself, and the last of her tears slowly, but steadily, still rolling down her cheeks, Harmonie tried to calm her breathing for a few moments before speaking again;

"Are we going to sit here all day?" she teased, though hugged him tightly as she said it, then relaxed her hold on him.

"I can't help it," Julian muttered, wiping at his eyes, "you crying is making me cry." he was going soft. He hadn't cried in years, not since his third year, and he fought very hard to make sure that didn't happen again. At least this time he wasn't going to completely break down. "I do have a heart, you know." he added, smiling slightly.

Bringing his lips down to softly press them to her forehead, he mumbled, "Then I guess you need to calm down and relax." Hummming softly, he smiled, "And what calms Harmonie Brielle de Venin down the most?"

Shrugging, he hugged her back, resting his chin on her head, "Do you want to spend all day here? Because this - this is nice."

Harmonie couldn't stop her small smile at his remark and brushed a tear lightly away from his face. They both probably looked like a mess to a passer by- an acknowledgement that usually would have driven her insane, but now she honestly couldn't bring herself to care that much. Though she did smooth down her clothes a little- it was, after all, in her second nature. "I'll stop." she replied. "And then you will." she said simply.

"Always known you did have one, Rousseau." she said, smirking ever so slightly. She could actually hear it, with her head against his chest.

She frowned slightly as her forehead was kissed, racking her brain for things that calmed her down. There was...but, only her mother did that. And wouldn't it be weird if she asked him to-

Then, how often did they both sit at a fountain and cry? Smiling wryly, she said, "Can you sing?" it was meant to be a request, but sounded more like an open question.

Harm shrugged. "I don't have plans so, why not?" she murmured. This whole meeting had been gnawing at her for ages, she hadn't exactly booked her schedule for this day.

"I'd better," he laughed shakily, smiling his thanks to her, "I can't have people running around thinking I have emotions, now can I?" Though he had no problems showing emotions in public, if people saw him crying - in all honesty, he didn't care if someone saw him right now. What were they going to say? That both of them were having a little crying-fest? That couldn't ruin what was still left of his reputation.

"Good to know." Julian smiled down at her, running a hand absent-mindedly through her hair.

"Can I sing?" Julian asked surprisedly, shrugging slightly, "Well enough to pass Creative Arts for four straight years, I suppose. What do you want to hear, Harmonica?" Smiling broadly at the use of his pet name for her, he glanced over at fountain.

"Julian Rousseau? Emotions?" Harmonie shook her head incredulously, tone teasing. "Never." she smiled at him, inwardly laughing at the irony of telling them this as they both sat and cried together- for her, out of relief and for him, just because she was. He was so different from the image he insisted on projecting to the rest of Beauxbatons. She'd known him for five years, and was only realising this properly now.

Then again, she did that too. Students that were passing by probably presumed it was Lodie crying- not the other one. The mean one. It was strange how separate they were, now. She felt as if the gap between them was growing by the day. Burying her face in his chest at the thought, she returned his smile- even though he couldn't see it. Harm shrugged, playing with his Prefect badge, which was identical to hers. "Just..." she shrugged, trailing off. "Sing something pretty."

"I know," he shook his head, grinning, "it surprised me too when I realized that I can care about people." And it had. After - after she'd practically destroyed him, it had absolutely terrified him that he was still able to care about people. But at least he knew that'd never happen again. None of his Angels - they wouldn't - would they? Ignoring that idea, he glanced back down at Harmonie.

"Something pretty." he repeated, shaking his head softly. Nevertheless, he obliged, and wracked his brains for a song that'd be pretty enough. Grinning slowly as he came up with something, he shifted slightly before beginning.

((OOh, the song. ))

Harmonie lifted her chin so she could meet his blue gaze with her brown one, expression wary. "I can't tell." she paused after speaking. "Are you joking or not?" He surely couldn't have believed that he wasn't capable of caring for people- not even romantically, just a simple love for someone else.

The tears had definitely stopped, now- and had unfortunately left Harm feeling a bit foolish, as she always did after crying- but she took in a deep breath and stared into space as he sang, using it as a comfort.

"You can sing." she stated, grinning softly, as the song drew to a close. "I didn't know you could."

Flicking his gaze to hers and then quickly away, Julian rubbed the back of his neck, staring out over the fountain as he squirmed absentmindedly. He had been serious, but - but, she didn't need to know that. Opening his mouth with every intention to lie his way out of this situation, he said, "I'm not joking." Eyes widening as he realized what he'd said, he shrugged slightly. It wasn't like he could take it back now.

Grinning at her as he finished, he put his hands behind his head, "I'm full of surprises."

Harmonie frowned deeply- she'd always been the more motherly, mature twin. It was what came with constantly having to look out for Lodie and making sure she wasn't in trouble for practically the whole of her childhood. She worried her lip, biting at it before speaking, "You can't just not care about people, Juli." she mumbled, acutely aware that she was treading on unstable grounds. "Even if they drive you nuts, sometimes." she remarked wryly.

"Merlin- don't ruin it with your cockiness, Rousseau." Harm nudged him teasingly. "Though admittedly." she paused carefully. "You do seem to be surprising me a lot today." she shrugged.

"I know that." Julian mumbled, raising an eyebrow slightly, contradicting the soft tone of his voice. Glancing over the fountain momentarily, he sighed softly, glancing back at Harmonie, "It's not that I don't care about people," he said slowly, "it's that way back, in third year, after you know, her. It scared me that I could still care about you guys as much as I do." Shrugging slightly, he smiled weakly at her.

"Cockiness? What cockiness?" Laughing, he shook his head, saluting her. "No cockiness here, Harmonica. Just good ol' me." Grinning at her, he laughed again, " I bet it's because I'm full of surprises."

Harmonie frowned, clearly concerned for her friend. Still? It had been a while since Monique- what was it now, two years? He'd gone through girl after girl, surely by now-

She blinked. He wasn't- not because of her, was he? She already hated Monique. With a passion. She had changed Juli- permanently, from what she was hearing. Blood boiling with an almost forgotten hatred, she just nodded stiffly in response and returned his weak smile. She could understand where he was coming from. It didn't mean she had to like it.

"You know that we'd ne-" Harm cut off her sentence cautiously and shook her head. No. He knew. Didn't he?

"Good ol' you is the definition of cockiness." she laughed, then shrugged. "You surprise me sometimes. You're not good enough to do it all the time." Harm teased.

"That you guys would never hurt me the way she did?" Julian finished softly, fingers running over his prefect badge over and over again. He knew that none of them - not even Ninette - would - or could, really. He'd had his heart destroyed into tiny little pieces once. It couldn't be possible to have that happen twice, right? And besides, they knew what had happened to him. None of his Angels would ever willingly put him through something like that again. "I know." he smiled, his voice barely a whisper.

Shrugging, he laughed, "That may or may not be true." Watching her for a moment, he tilted his head, pouting slightly, "Only sometimes?" Clasping a hand over his heart, he shook his head, "That hurts. It really does."

"Yeah." she said softly, nodding. Harmonie smiled and decided to kiss him quickly on the cheek. It seemed like all she could do to try to mend him. "Good." she said, studying her nails carefully before nodding again. "I thought you knew. I just-" she shrugged one shoulder "- wanted to make sure."

"May not?" Harm raised an eyebrow at him. "We both know that's true, Juli." she shook her head at him, smiling a little.

"Well prove it." she shifted so she faced him properly, eyes daring. "Surprise me" Harm smirked, crossing her arms over her chest expectantly.

Smiling at her, he barely reacted to her kiss, though his smile did widen slightly and he blinked a little faster. Nodding at her, he rubbed his eyes, blinking back a few unshed tears. "Trust me. I - I know you guys. By now it'd be pretty pathetic if I didn't."

Swallowing the lump in his throat, he laughed softly, "None of you would ever put me through that. Not purposely. I'm sure of that." Mustering up more confidence than he felt, he smiled again, nodding decisively.

"Ok, fine, Harmy." Julian pouted slightly, sticking his tongue out at her childishly, "I'll admit it. At times," he sighed dramatically, grinning, "I can be a little cocky."

Smirking at her, he thought for a moment, "I think you'll like this surprise." He said with a grin. Moving towards her, his grin broadened, meeting her brown eyes with his blue. Pushing a strand of dark hair behind her ear, he leaned towards her, his hands making their way towards her waist as his eyes closed. His lips millimeters from hers, Julian paused, his hands firmly on her waist. Instead of kissing her, he pushed her towards the fountain.

Harmonie worried at her lip, chewing it as she watched him. More tears? She couldn't deal with more of them, she was still only on the recovery from the last wave. "Good. Because." she said, raking a hand through her hair while she struggled to find the right words. "We'd never. Any of us." Harm paused thoughtfully.

"If." she rubbed the back of her neck. "If any of us ever did, just know we didn't mean to." Did that make sense? She wasn't good at this..stuff. Whatever it was. It was alien to her.

She stuck out her tongue at him and laughed. "We both know that it's more than a little Rousseau." Harm tensed up a bit as soon as he came closer, but mentally rolled her eyes at him. A kiss? That wasn't so surprising when it came from a guy like him- besides, they'd already sort of-

"Aargh!" she squealed, tumbling into the ice cold water of the fountain. She resurfaced a few seconds later, wet dark hair plastered to her face and soggy uniform clinging to her body. She looked down at herself in outrage and scowled at him.

"You bastard, Rousseau!" she yelled, but couldn't stop her grin, before wading through the water quickly and grabbing his wrists to pull him in with her.

Nodding at Harmonie, he watched her squirm as she talked to him, trying to come up with the right words to comfort him. But he didn't - she was telling him things he already knew, though he had to admit that it was nice to be told that they'd never hurt him.

"I'll remember that." Julian grinned at her.

"Ok, fine. Maybe it's a little bit more than a little." he said with a laugh, shaking his head a little.

Unable to stop himself from bursting out laughing as she fell into the fountain, his shoulders shook, grinning. Still laughing as she resurfaced, he waved innocently at her. "Me? I - I'm not -" he choked out between breaths as he laughed. Shaking his head, he gave up on talking, still laughing his head off.

He was still laughing as Harmy pulled him into the fountain. Now soaking wet, he calmed down enough to speak coherently, flashing a grin at her, "Like your surprise?"